diah and her days

The past one year has been a hell of emotional rollercoaster. I lost my temper A LOT, I yelled at my daughter and pushed her away cause I couldn't handle the stress. I let her cried in the middle of night begging me to pick her up out of bed or lulling her back to sleep. I got angry when she refused to eat and put on her diaper. I grew resentment towards my partner. I am not who I used to be. Of course it didn't take long for me to regret what I had done and hated myself afterward for not being able to control my emotion. I know I should not take things for granted, that I should be thankful my baby is perfectly healthy and I got help from my surroundings. Even just recently, we decided to hire a nanny to help me get my sanity back despite the lurking risks. I don't know if the pandemic worsen my situation. On the one hand, I'm glad I could spend time at home, switching roles from being a lecturer to a mom just within second. I can breastfeed my baby just few minut...

"Chester Bennington dies at the age of 41 hanging himself" Shocked and heartbroken. On the surface, he was a hero for a generation. But his life was truly a series of agony and grief. Child abuse, divorced parents, emotionally unstable father, drugs and alcohol addicts ever-since, relationship problems, constantly bullied by LP fans who can't f**ing move on, and recently the loss of a best friend. It struck me. Every soul is fighting against its own darkest thought. Its own demon. And not everyone is lucky to win the battle. For whatever awaits after life, I truly hope he finally finds some peace up (or down) there. He sang: 'After my dreaming I woke with this fear What am I leaving When I'm done here? So, if you're asking me, I want you to know' You left incredible memories of adolescence to a generation. You might have lost the battle, but your music forever wins billions of hearts out there. And in the end, it does matter.

Saat masih proses aplikasi, saya bercita-cita kalau nanti saya berhasil terpilih sebagai Chevening awardee, saya akan menuliskan pengalaman seputar proses aplikasi yang saya lalui. Selama proses aplikasi, saya sering blog walking dan membaca pengalaman awardee-awardee Chevening sebelumnya dan merasa sangat terbantu. Thus, I would love to do the same thing. Semoga tulisan ini juga bisa bermanfaat untuk semua yang sedang mengejar cita-citanya :) Apa itu beasiswa Chevening? Chevening adalah beasiswa S2 dari pemerintah UK yang mencakup biaya kuliah serta biaya hidup bulanan. Beasiswa ini tidak hanya untuk mahasiswa Indonesia, tapi juga negara-negara ASEAN, Latin America, beberapa eropa timur, etc. Jadi, menjadi bagian dari komunitas Chevening scholarship holder artinya menjadi bagian dari worldwide networking. It’s only my first two weeks here in UK, tapi sudah ada beberapa invitation dari Chevening untuk acara-acara di London & university yang berarti kita punya kesempatan yang leb...

I am not sure many of you are familiar with Danone products, but if you are heavy user of AQUA, Mizone, SGM, Nutricia, then you are a heavy user of Danone Indonesia. In short, Danone Indonesia has two main business unit, Water (AQUA – which will be the house of some other brands, ie Mizone & VIT) and Early Life Nutrition - ELN (Sari Husada & Nutricia). Being a MT Star means you will be selected to fill in position in one of these two business units. Long story short, it was 4 years ago when I heard about Danone MT Star recruitment process and uploaded my CV through www.dancommunity.com. There might be some changes here and there today, but for those who are curious about the stages to comprehend, here goes my list: 1. Administrative thingy : including register and upload your CV through online platform. My tips: be simple! Only outline your real experience. Trust me, there are thousand similar CV out there and the recruitment team will not be able to read the whole 3 p...

Just checked air asia website and found exciting news. Brace your self! New route Jakarta - Sapporo has been launched and get 899K IDR for one way flight. Di Indonesia, Hokkaido memang mungkin belum se- mainstream populer Tokyo, Kyoto, atau Osaka.Though I agree each city has its own beauty, personally I think Hokkaido is the most beautiful of all (in terms of city landscape) - in any season! In winter, karena terletak di ujung Utara Jepang, snow covers almost every inch of the city. Things turn into white. During summer, Lavender and flowers grow coloring the whole city. Jadi, kalau memang promo low cost airline di atas bener adanya, you better not miss the chance! Cerita di bawah adalah rangkuman tentang liburan saya selama seminggu di Hokkaido (Sapporo - Hakodate - Otaru - Asahikawa - a bit of Furano). Berhubung saya anak tropis, saya memilih musim dingin untuk menjelajah Hokkaido. Harapannya supaya bisa puas liatin salju dan illumination festival yang nge hits itu. Kebetul...

I know it's not even December. We just passed the first semester of 2015. But since I have no office leave left, it's time to dream about 2016 trip. And as wise people said, it's better to write down your goal so universe can work it out , so you will never lose your track and work that ass off day by day. Got only 2 places in my bucket list. 1. China - to see the great wall I'm not quite sure why, but lately there's something about China. In my long long time ago post, I wrote that I met a Chinese friend during a forum in Vietnam. He said he came from Kunming, thousand miles away from Beijing. Since then, I dream about visiting this great country. After all, China is quite a mainstream destination for Indonesian tourist. 2. Sri Lanka There's only 1 reason : I miss my Dishna! Yes, Dishna is my dorm-mate during exchange program in Japan. It was March 2012 when the last time we saw each other, but we're still in contact up till today. Again in my ...

There is this famous saying states that people who live in tropical country tend to be happier, friendlier, yet lazier than those who born and grow up in four seasons country. The reason is simple. Tropical country has sunlight for the whole year, whilst most of days in sub tropical country are spent in gloomy cloud since they have only 3 months of full summer. The next question will be how does sunlight make that huge difference? How does sunlight determine our behaviors and feelings? I shouldn’t be the one who answer the question. Some physicist or other (I don’t even know whether I am right that this profession is the one who knows the answer) can provide explanations. However, I might be able to give you a clue. I was born and grew up in Indonesia, a country which has only two seasons; dry and rainy season. My hometown is only 10 minutes away from the nearest beach. When I was a kid, Sunday equals to going to the beach. Sunshine is everywhere that I feel I have to avoid it...

When you are all alone in this new city, the only choice you have is making friends.

Baru 2 bulan sejak kedatangan saya ke kota ini. Kata orang, Jakarta itu keras. Katanya, ibukota lebih kejam dibanding ibu tiri. Bahkan VP saya pernah bertanya pada saya saat final interview, "are you sure you want to work and live here? It's a tough city." Itu kata mereka. Kata orang-orang. Lalu apa kata saya? Entahlah. Kota ini tidak se-lovable Jogja, memang. Tidak secantik Bali, memang. Tidak sebersih Fukuoka, apalagi. Tapi, "I've been living in Indonesia's most friendly city once. It's the time to experience another lesson." I hope I made a right decision.

Now I feel so relief that I decided to post those pictures on facebook or these writings on blog. I am not a best friend of technological devices. First , I dropped my camera pocket during conference trip in Boston. I was not able to take more pictures though the trip hadn’t finished yet. Second, I had my notebook broken in Japan despite I was sure I didn’t do anything weird. It was running well in the afternoon before I shut it down. Suddenly after evening class, it was all black. The repairman said something had infected the motherboard. I almost cried in the shop if I didn't remember doing that thing would not change anything. I lost dozen of pictures I collected during my stay in Japan. Fortunately, few months earlier, I decided to buy an external hard disk and copied half of my memories. Third, few weeks ago, my external hard disk stopped running. Brought it to the repairman and they gave the bad news I didn’t want to hear. Something had terribly broken the head and they...

お元気ですか。久しぶりですね。私は　明けましておめでとうございますと　言いたいです、去年色々助けてくれてありがとう。すごく楽しかった。食べ物もすごくおいしかった。でも、遅くおきて　はすかしかったです。 今年も福岡にいるんですか。 とにかく、去年、大宰府にお祈りしに行って、覚えてますか。お守り買ってくれてありがとう。そのお守りは卒業のお守りです。インドネシアに着いたから今までずっとお守り持っていますよ。１１月、卒業漆器です、お守りはいいんじゃないね。 私は今年のお正月は家族とほかの町にあぞびに行くんです。インドネシアでお正月はとてもにぎやかです。日本とすごくちがう。 お母さんとお父さん、お世話になってありがとうございます。 日本に行くチャンスがあったら、ぜったいいく。 その日が来るまでにお父さんとお母さんは元気でね。 デイアより

Promised myself to write series of summer vacation trips while in Japan. Still, making promises is way easier than fulfilling it. After talking about how to explore Kumamoto (well at least its famous spot), now please allow me to talk about Osaka and Kyoto , two extraordinary prefectures in Kansai Area. If I am not mistaken, there are four famous tourist spots in Kansai; they are Osaka, Kyoto, Nara, and Kobe. To be honest, I didn’t have that much interest on Osaka or Kyoto before. I did hear both areas are must visit prefectures in Japan. Osaka is extremely famous for its Takoyaki. People said it’s the best in Japan and you can easily find takoyaki stall around the town. Beside, Osaka is also Japan’s second largest city after Tokyo. If Tokyo is well known for its business district and harajuku, Osaka is then worth visited if you are interested in Japanese famous brand which most of whose factories located in Osaka. While Kyoto, which can be reached by 30 minutes train for Osa...

11 September 2012.. “Akhirnyaaa..” itulah kata yang pertama kali ingin saya ucapkan. Akhirnya, setelah sempat mangkrak selama setahun gara-gara saya melarikan diri ke negerinya Nobita, skripsi ini masuk ruang sidang juga. Akhirnya, setelah judul yang sama didaftarkan hampir dua tahun lalu, saya berhasil menyusul jejak teman-teman dan menyematkan tiga huruf baru di belakang nama saya itu, SIP. Akhirnya, setelah gagal berkejaran dengan Agustus, saya bisa menyuruh Ibu untuk segera booking tiket pesawat ke Jogja. Akhirnya, setelah berkencan dengan laptop selama beberapa waktu, saya memakai setelan putih hitam juga ke kampus. Akhirnya, akhirnya, akhirnya, bagian yang paling menyenangkan, saya bisa melambaikan tangan pada tugas akhir ini dan menulis halaman persembahan. Sejak awal proses penulisan skripsi, saya sudah mereka-reka apa yang akan saya tulis di lembar persembahan ini. Pokoknya saya ingin sesuatu yang nostalgic, yang sampai kapan pun, kalau dibaca ulang, akan memba...

Wise men have a saying “once you run, there will be a moment to stop for a while to take a deep breath and look what you’ve left behind.” For me, that stop was on November 15th 2012 when I knew that my grandfather passed away. I was having dinner when my mother gave me a call. As she burst into tears, I knew something unusual happened. It was already quite late and impossible to find a flight back to Bali. Planning to go the airport the very next morning, I had those vivid imaginations about my childhood moment. Texted my sister and brother, they asked for prayer. There was nothing I can do. I was growing up in the middle of a complete – huge – family. Surrounded by grandfathers and grandmothers, I always know that they are getting older. But I was too afraid to imagine that they would leave this world before me. Leaving me crying behind. Flying back to Bali, I saw his body. Lying on his daily bed, he looked different that day. I remembered it was more than 4 months ago t...

Magetan, October 27th – 28th 2012 Devita & Yanuar Did I tell you how I met Vita? She insisted Soekarno Hatta was the lucky place where we knew each other for the first time. It was the moment before our flight headed to Japan. Did I tell you what the first sentence I mentioned when she sat next to me during the flight? “Vita, I am a combination of camel and hypo. I drink a lot and only wake up when the stewardess serve us meal.” Then I slept. :p Did I tell you how much I love her? Spending almost 365 days without family, friends, and boyfriend, Vita turned to be my temporary family, boyfriend, and permanent friend. Did I tell you how upset I was at her when she didn’t prepare our trip to Tokyo as the days were coming closer? Did I tell you how I got a bit annoyed when she started to be too nice to everyone? Did I tell you how fed-up I was when she spent too much on clothes? Did I tell you how lonely I felt when she didn’t go on a trip with me? When I had to plan th...

Seharusnya sudah nulis tentang cerita perjalanan ini dari kapan taun. Usut punya usut ternyata semua perjalanan yang saya lakukan selama setaun kemarin belum ada dokumentasi tertulisnya. Paling banter, one day trip momiji hunting ke saga dan ulasan tentang tiket kereta 18kippu yang fenomenal itu. Sisanya? Nihil. Sebelum saya keburu lupa dan males nulis, biarkanlah saya mendaftar dulu satu persatu hutang tulisan saya itu. Pertama: One day trip to Aso dan Kumamoto Kedua: Osaka dan one day trip in Kyoto Ketiga: Tokyo Keempat: Hokkaido Kelima: Korea Keenam: Hiroshima Ketujuh: Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh City) Kedelapan: Thailand Baiklah, mari mulai dengan perjalanan kita yang pertama. One day trip to Aso dan Kumamoto. Kumamoto dan Aso adalah nama dua daerah di bagian selatan Fukuoka. Kumamoto merupakan perfektur tersendiri, sementara Aso adalah nama gunung yang terkenal seantero Jepang karena kaldera nya yang konon katanya indah. Niatan menjelajah dua daerah ini sebenarn...