just another shitty notes

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First of all, let me introduce you to one of notes from one of the most melancholic person in one of her most melancholic moment.

Well, If I could just say it, If I could just echo it out loud, If I could just moan on it, it would be so much better than it feels now. Sh*t, I have been trying to hide everything, I have been wishing to burry all those shitty things, I have always been trying to not to think about it. And how could that be so hard? How could If I remember, even just one glimpse, it grab all the happiness away?

All I want to say is just I hate you. I do really hate you. if I just could express it, If you just could know it, it would be a lot better for me. But I cant tell you, you know. Because deep inside, I always try to love you. To pretend and think that you are just normal. That we are normal. It's been years in my whole life and I am still not getting used to it. You know why, because everytime I try, that time you just breake it up. And it hurts. It's sucks! Because you suppose to be one of my shelters, one of the person I love the most.

I dont know how does it feel to have someone like you. I never know.
I used to ask for knowing, even only for one time. But then I figure it out that I dont have to.
I am happy without you. At least, when I am not thinking of you and how life supposed to be.

So please, do not bother my life, my dreams, our dreams.
Just stay away of our life.
I (supposed to) love you and vice versa.
But if faith doesnt allow us to, it is enough to not bother each other.
So please, I beg you, stay away from us.
And take care..
because after all, I have to admit that I do really want to love you..

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